Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
