Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
