Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
