Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize