I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
