so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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