it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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