Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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