it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Jerry, you need to find god
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
