the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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