And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
