so explain again why im purple
no
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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