we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
