lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
And then my night got REAL pukey
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
