I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize