Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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