I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Randomize
