babies were throwing up all over the place
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
