is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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