Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I just want nice things and good sex
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
