Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
