I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
