You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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