We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
