i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
