Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
She announced her abortion via fbk
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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