I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
