somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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