Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
