don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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