dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
