How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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