you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
