Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
He kissed a someone with a penis
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
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