Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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