I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
