theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
