I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
They have beer where we have blood.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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