im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize