I think im going to throw up on grandma
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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