There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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