just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
