Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
