Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
the day after is always just damage control
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
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