You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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