They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
