I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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