This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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