11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
