i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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