I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
pray to the hookup gods
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
