I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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