Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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