she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
