I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
