I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
