im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize