Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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