i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
