I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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