Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you inspire me to be a worse person
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
