i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize